27 March 2009

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Who’s Really on Your Team? How to Work with Difficult People
By Pattie Vargas, MAOM, PMP

Oh, the joys of working with people!

Schedules that seem to be written in sand. Project requirements that seem to change daily. Absent sponsors, and last but not least, the varied people we call project team members! How well do you know these folks? And more importantly, how can you work with them to ensure success?

Difficult People Defined

What constitutes a “difficult” person? In order to truly categorize someone as “difficult,” they need to affect most people, not just you or others who are overly sensitive.

Difficult people might seem to have a lower threshold for irritation and appear to behave unpredictably, seeming to get excited or upset over the smallest things. Their behavior is frequent and habitual, meaning they exhibit this type of behavior most of the time.

So let’s look at some of the types of difficult people you may have had on your team at one time or another, and some strategies for managing their unique tendencies. 

The Compliant Member

This is the "people-pleaser" who over-promises and never delivers. In order to avoid conflict, they are sociable and personable with others, especially you. They will tell you what you want to hear and then let you down by making unrealistic commitments.

Coping Strategies:

• Cultivate an environment that encourages truth-telling. 
• Don't allow them to over-commit or take on more than they can handle.
• Pay attention to their humor — it often masks what’s really going on.

The Temperamental Member

These people, sometimes referred to as prima-donnas, try to convince you the whole project rises and falls on their ability. They may play a power game by alternately refusing to contribute and then by monopolizing the decision-making. When things don’t go their way, they may withdraw to “let you fail.”  
 
Coping Strategies:

• Acknowledge their expertise on the subject, but don’t allow them to hold you hostage by causing unnecessary delays or uncertainty.

• Ask for their input but give equal time for opinions from the other members. Don’t allow their input to be the sole solution.
• Privately, if necessary, deal with their behavior to maintain your relationship with them.   

The Whiny Member

These are the people who find fault with everything, but there may be some legitimacy to their complaints so be sure to listen. This might be difficult because they tend to use an accusatory tone, and come across as powerless and self-righteous.

Coping Strategies:

• Early in the project, establish a practice of insisting on a rational, methodical approach to problem-solving.
• Allow the whiny members to vent — but only up to a point. Be prepared to interrupt and take control. Pin them down to the specifics.
• Be sure to bring it back to solutions — what results would they like to see?

The Stab-You-In-The-Back Member

Backstabbing takes many forms: passing misinformation, withholding useful information or spreading damaging rumors. This person’s behavior is sad and regrettable; their intent is to succeed by tearing you down.    

Coping Strategies:

• Ask yourself if their behavior really matters – can they do any harm to you? If not, let it go. Don’t let your ego force you into a response that will make things worse.
• These people have an uncanny ability to look innocent when things escalate. Build and maintain good relationships with your sponsors and team members, who will protect you during confrontations, problems or difficulties.  
• Take the high road. There is never a wrong time to do the right thing.

The Negative Member

These folks can never seem to see the glass as half-full. For whatever reason, professional or personal, they are compelled to find fault with every idea, deflate optimism and point out immovable barriers. They may appear to be cynical and resentful most of the time.

Coping Strategies:

• This behavior can be extremely contagious, even to you. Always be prepared to counter their negativity with reasonable optimism.
• Recognize their value on the team: allow them to play the role of "reality checker" by analyzing what could go wrong.
• Require them to cite specifics related to the current issue, rather than a sweeping decree of what “never works.” 

Unless you have the luxury of selecting your project team members — and even if you do — you can develop coping strategies to manage the challenge of difficult personalities. At the same time, you will be cultivating a unique talent for people management that will make your experience as project manager much easier to handle.

Pattie Vargas, MAOM, PMP, is the principal of the The Vargas Group, where she specializes in interpersonal skills and career development for technical disciplines, and coaches in team and project management, human performance improvement and organizational development.  She welcomes your comments and questions at pattie@thevargasgroup.net.  You can also find her on LinkedIn and on Twitter as pattiev.